I was wondering lately how I could stop judging people, situations and myself. I guess people who know me wouldn’t consider me to be a very judgmental person, but I think we all do it, we all judge, sometimes more, sometimes less. I just recently read a quote by the Dalai Lama where he stated, that “love is the absence of judgment”. So how can we be more loving and less judgmental in our every day life?
My guides explained it like this: When you identify yourself with a certain role, you have your point of view and therefore are likely to be judging others that are in a different role. But when you are more in love than in a role, you are more loving and less judgmental. It sounds very simple.
We all have many different roles in our lives, we may be a father or a mother, a teacher, an artist or a manager and we certainly are a daughter or a son as well. This is not an issue at all. But when we identify ourselves in a very strong way with a certain role, we limit our point of view and tend to judge others. Instead of allowing multiple perspectives to be seen and true, we restrict ourselves to one role and one perception.
An example could be a stay home mom or dad, who has a very strong identification with the role “stay home parent”. This might lead to judge other parents, who handle their parenting in a different way. If the identification is less prevalent, the judgment of others becomes less. And this would of course also work the other way around; a father or a mother who identifies in a strong way with working a lot and extracting their validation from that, might look at someone, who works less, in a judgmental way.
The thing is, that being judgmental is not a good feeling, as we know. It makes us contract our ability to open up, accept and love. It also keeps us from acting with our heart and allowing changes and new opportunities to flow into our lives easily. But we are always free to change our roles and expand our perception any time.
But why am I judging myself, we might still be asking. I think it comes from a belief in lack. We think we can be not perfect enough, not beautiful enough, not quick enough, not understanding enough and so forth and missing the point, that we are a perfect, divine creation and there is nothing we can change about that. We are evolving and exploring and that’s the whole point in this amazing adventure we are in, and we are never not good enough. The more we love, the less we judge, also ourselves.
The more we focus on our own divine perfection and the divine perfection in everything around us, the more beauty, ease and grace we create. When we recognize the limitless of the Infinite Creator within, we smile and love ourselves.